


Pinky Promise?

by Keeblo



Series: Basically the best couple in all of the land [13]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: 3 am porn, Cloaca, In Game, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-24
Updated: 2014-07-24
Packaged: 2018-02-10 06:31:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2014635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keeblo/pseuds/Keeblo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just random porn I wanted to write at 3 am with John and Davesprite getting over their differences and nobody questions why Davesprite is always asleep in John's room</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pinky Promise?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry

John didn't get along with Davesprite very well at all. For numerous reasons that were all very logical and valid of course that definitely weren't because it was like looking at his best bro who wasn't really himself anymore. Which is difficult to say considering it is still Dave but he just...isn't somehow. And honestly his fling with Jade didn't make things any better in the least. But eventually John was able to stand up as the mature young man he is and set aside their differences to try and smooth things over with Davesprite.

Oh yeah,

his original plan fell to shit very quickly.

John's original plan is to simply find Davesprite and chat with him a bit to show how totally cool he was with him, but it's turning out to be much harder than he originally thought. For starters he can't find Davesprite. And on top of that...well. Something. Something is on top of it.

"Davesprite? Hey, Davesprite come out come out wherever you are?" Is that how you call birds? Maybe it'd work. "Dave?" John peeks into Davesprite's room and immediately slumps when he doesn't see the feathery asshole there. "Ugh, why is it so hard to find one dumb bird." 

His next place to search is the kitchen, so he stalks down the halls, eyes intense and watching for any sign of his current orange target.

"You in here?" Finally in the kitchen, John looks around still not seeing Davesprite. "I'm going to kick you when I find you..." With a small huff of air, John heads towards the stairs and takes them upstairs.

There's no sign of Davesprite in the hallway or the bathroom. Heck, he even checks the closet and the spare room to no avail. He finally decides to just give up on the search for then and pads to the end of the hall to his own room. To his surprise, that's when he finds the bird he was looking for.

"Oh. There you are," John steps into his room with an eyebrow lifted. "What are you doing?" Davesprite floats in the center of John's room with his back towards the door, leaving the majority of him other than wings completely out of view.

John walks up to bird Dave and cautiously reaches out to shove his shoulder. "Dude what are you doing?" Davesprite jumps (would you call it jumping if he was floating???) and turns around with an annoyed expression.

"I was plotting to piss in your bed, what the hell do you think I was doing." Davesprite pretends to fix his shades so he can rub underneath his eyes. John immediately remembers his plan and allows a grin to break out across his features.

"That's disgusting but I'm glad I found you. I wanted to talk to you!" John continues grinning as he waits for Davesprite to acknowledge him.

"That's a first," Davesprite pushes his hair back before absently scratching at the feathers on his chest. "What do you want? I'm on a tight schedule. Can't have you messing it up with bullshit, you know how it is. Bird stuff and all." John's face scrunches up a little and he really really wants to just kick the orange asshole out of his room but he's trying to be the bigger guy here.

With an almost forced grin, John holds out his hand, "Let's start over. I know you and me haven't really gotten along in the past-"

"No shit."

"Shh. We haven't gotten along, but I wanna make a peace offering. Being a man now I hope you understand that this is man business not little kid business so it's for real. Let's be friends even if you aren't my Dave and kind of really suck." 

Davesprite gives John a hard look for a few moments before inclining his chin with a cockily amused smirk.

"A peace offering? Man's business. Wow, okay sure if you say so. What exactly are you going to be offering up the peace with? Let me guess: worms, or maybe some shitty nest made out of grass that has all of the hipsters busting a nut over because oh look it's red cedar and organic tee shirt." Davesprite's eyebrows pull up above his shades that vaguely makes him look like a moron, but when does he not?

"Noo, of course not. Ha ha you're so funny." John rolls his eyes and shoves his hands into his pockets; shifting his weight back to his heels as he leans forward. "I didn't really have anything planned actually. Is there like, something you want that I could do? Serious business remember, we gotta do this." 

"Okay, so you're telling me you pranced in here like Ellie thinking this was some Little House On The Prairie shit wanting to be friends but you've literally got nothing. I'm impressed Egbert. You really haven't changed at all. Still a clueless kid as ever." 

John frowns and takes his hands out of his pockets so he can cross his arms. "You don't have to be so rude, Dave. I'm just trying to be the bigger man and be ni-"

"Be the bigger man? Oh shit, somebody call the press because this kid's taking on some phrases from the grown ups now. You aren't being the bigger anything here other than a bigger pain in my ghost bird ass or whatever. So cut the charade because I'm not buying it. Jade set you up to this didn't she?" Davesprite's tail flicks through the air as he floats back and forth as if he was pacing.

John's frown deepens and he sticks his nose up. "See, this is why we didn't get along in the first place. What's the big deal anyway? I thought we got along before. We were best friends remember? So why are you an even bigger asshole now?" As soon as he says it, he realizes it did not help the situation at all.

Davesprite is immediately in John's personal space, feathers and wings looking quite ruffled and his eyebrows scrunched up.

"I'm sorry, but were you the one who had to leave his timeline to prototype with a stupid ass bird when everyone was dead and you knew you were going to die soon too? Did you have to watch as things went to shit all over again and watch your brother die? No you didn't. Fuck, you don't even have to deal with losing the majority of what made you a person. I don't even have a dick anymore Egbert, okay? Sorry I don't act like everything is peachy keen." 

John immediately slinks back a little even though Davesprite's voice and tone don't change. 

"Things happened to me too Dave." John thinks back to seeing his father's dead body, seeing Rose turn evil or whatever it was, to all of the shit that's happened during the game. Then suddenly something clicks and he straightens up, curiosity overpowering the heaviness of the situation. "You don't have a dick anymore?" Davesprite looks genuinely confused for a moment before his face levels out and he crosses his arms, shrugging.

"No. Does it look like it? It's just like. Nothing. I haven't gotten off in forever because of the game, let alone now that I'm a fucking bird." Well that was true at least. And the game did make things like healthy young boy urges to become more intimate with his hand very difficult.

"Well, have you tried? I mean maybe you're so grumpy because you're all sexually pent up or something." John's posture relaxes and he offers an amused and almost teasing smile.

"Yeah- well no. Do you see anything here Egbert? There's not exactly a dick to be trying anything with. I bet even Frankenstein's monster had some random dudes dick to play with when he was created."

"Ew, gross." John's nose scrunches up at the thought. Davesprite just shrugs again and pushes his shades up his face. "Well, maybe I can help you or something? It can be my peace offering!" Even through the shades John can see Davesprite's "sure if you say so" look.

"There's no way I'm letting you feel me up if that's what you're thinking. I know how you freaked about my ghost butt."

"But Da-ave. It'll make you feel better!"

"I thought you said you weren't into guys."

"I'm not really into anyone Dave, but I can help a bro out when he needs to just re-lax." John joins Davesprite in floating, his body slowly falling back as he spreads his arms apart to mime relaxing.

For a few moments, John hovers like that with his eyes closed until he hears Davesprite's resigned sigh.

"Anything that might pop out of my body is not my fault and you can't tell anyone about this." John perks and puts his feet back on the floor before holding out his pinky.

Davesprite quirks an eyebrow at the appendage.

"I pinky promise that I won't tell anyone, alright?" John wiggles his pinky invitingly.

"You swear?" He seems to be considering, his hands slowly moving out from their crossed position under opposite arms.

John wiggles his pinky again. "Pinky swear." Finally, Davesprite sighs and holds out his own scaly finger to hook with John's. "Awesome. Okay so where to start?" John eagerly steps closer to Davesprite, eyes wide and looking at his ghost bird tail or whatever.

"Woah, woah, calm down. I know I'm hot and all but there's no need to get so handsy. I'm sure I'll make your panties plenty wet just from these sweet bird appendages so hold off because there's plenty of me to go around." 

John rolls his eyes and uses his wind powers to get Davesprite closer to his bed without all of the fuss. Davesprite simply flips him the finger.

"First things first: relax. How are we supposed to find anything if you're all tense like that?" John motions vaguely with his hands to his bird counterparts hunched shoulders and tail pulled up tight to his body.

"I'm so relaxed not even a poorly lubricated stick shoved up my ass couldn't make me any less relaxed."

"Ew Dave, no." John sticks out his tongue before deciding he needs to seriously get Davesprite to relax. "Okay so I guess I'll just...try some stuff? Don't scratch me or anything or I'll probably hit you with something."

"Sounds fun."

"Yeah." John steps closer to Davesprite like he would a hurt animal; palms up and movements slow as he reaches out. He's not sure what birds like exactly so he figures treating this like he would a cat or dog should work.

At first, his fingers move to Davesprite's shoulders so he can work up and out. Underneath his fingers, he can feel Davesprite tense further as he slides his hands up the patchy texture towards the tuft of feathers at his neck.

"Shh, just relax Dave." John takes a small step closer when his hands finally reach the circle of feathers. "Wow, these are really soft." He breathes out a little distractedly, fingers pressing into the feathers slowly until he can feel Davesprite's neck. The shudder he gets towards the action has him grinning.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"That smug little grin like you found out you just won a trip to the geek convention or something." Davesprite's face tenses a little, but his shoulders remain relatively relaxed as John slowly strokes his fingers through his neck and chest feathers. 

From there John moves his fingers back towards Davesprite's wings, arms drapped over his shoulders as he reaches for the orange appendages. 

"Wow, you're really soft like, everywhere!" John smiles to himself and runs his fingers from the base of Dave's wings out as far as his arms can go. He can't see Dave's eyes but he can see the slight yellow that's on the tips of his ears and the goosebumps he gets on his arms. 

"Do you like that?" John asks softly as he repeats the motion of petting Dave's wings.

Davesprite's silent for a moment before giving a small nod. "Yeah I guess. It feels pretty good."

"Awesome. So I'll just keep doing this." 

For a few more minutes, John pets Davesprite's wings and neck feathers until he's completely relaxed. He actually looks like he's asleep.

"Dave?" Davesprite makes a quiet, startled noise and hmphs. "Oh look, you're awake."

"Shut up." 

John laughs quietly and takes a miniscule step back. "Okay, time to see what we can find!"

Davesprite's tail curls back in towards himself a little after John's exclamation. "Don't say it like that. Sounds creepy as fuck. Like I'm some E.T. crash landed on Earth and now ironic twist of fate, I'm about to be probed for my goods with metal tools and gross sweaty man hands."

"Da-ave, no shut up. That's really weird. Why do you always say things like that?" John's nose scrunches again, and before Davesprite can respond back with a quip, John puts his hand on the other male's tail and proceeds to feel it up.

Davesprite flinches, feathers standing on end as John tries to find something.

"Maybe if I rub enough it'll like...pop out? Or something." 

"Dude, wait, don't do that." But John's already rubbing furiously into Davesprite's tail when his fingers catch on something and Dave screeches. "Holy shit what did you do," he hisses out between his teeth.

"Woah, Dave...I think you have a vagina."

"What?" 

John doesn't respond and instead presses his fingers, much more carefully, against the area they'd caught on until he locates a slit about three inches in length.

"Dude." 

"What? What is it?" Davesprite tries to see past John's shoulders, but ends up causing John to pinch him instead in irritation.

"Hold still. I'm going to put my finger in it."

"No, are you kidding me, don't that is the stupidest idea ever holy shit John-" John doesn't listen and presses his middle finger into the slit. He feels around trying to get an idea of what's in the slit until Dave gives an unexpected squawk and digs taloned fingers into his shoulders.

"Ow! Dave, what the heck?" John swats away Davesprite's hands with his right hand and looks up to a mortified expression. "...Dave?"

"Holy fucking christ, someone get that juggalo on the phone because I think I just had a miracle." John stares confused for a few more moments, trying to figure out what Davesprite means.

"O-kay then. Anyway." John turns his attention back to the slit in Davesprite's tail. He tries wiggling his finger again but for whatever reason he finds that it's more difficult and it feels like it's holding onto his finger. "Um..."

"What?" Davesprite sounds a little bit breathless as he straightens up a bit. He even goes so far as to push his shades onto the top of his head so he can see better.

"I don't know it's like, it's like it's holding onto my finger! Maybe if I..." John wiggles his finger around a little as he pulls it back. Things are definitely moving in there and it's beginning to weird him out.

"Hold up, don't take your finger out." There's a hand on John's shoulder again a moment later and when he looks up Davesprite's face is scrunched up almost like he's in pain.

"I'm not hurting you am I?" John quickly stops moving his finger just in case.

"No John, you idiot, it feels good. Try pushing it back in a little." John chews his lip then sighs before complying. He slowly pushes his finger back up to the knuckle into the slit and finds it's actually a lot easier. 

"Woah, Dave. There's like, something wet in here." John experiments by pulling his finger back out to find it's also much easier. "Wow, this is actually really cool. I wonder how many fingers I can fit in here." His curiosity flares as he pushes another finger into the slit and thrusts them a bit until there isn't any catching.

John curls his fingers and presses at the insides of the slit in interest until a rather loud, untamped moan sounds above him. 

He can't help the slight flush on his cheeks as he looks up at Davesprite again, who's got his eyes clamped shut and his cheeks are flushed yellow. Bright orange irises peek out behind cracked eyelids to look at John. John stares back at Davesprite with his mouth hanging open a bit until the other male promptly sits up again and huffs.

John continues staring at Davesprite until the burn starting in his lower back pulls his attention away

"Hey, maybe we can take this to the bed. I'm not exactly built for two-thirds hunching over." He takes the ensuing silence as an okay John, go right ahead, because he pulls his fingers out of Davesprite and walks over and sits on his bed.

Davesprite squawks again and John looks at him startled as he toes off his shoes.

"Get your feathery ghost butt over here Dave, jeesh." John shuffles up his bed until he's lying back against his headboard and pillows with his legs stretched out in front of him.

Davesprite doesn't say anything as he slowly floats his way over to John. He ends up hovering just to the side of John with the most embarrassed look John's ever seen (which is to say he won't look at John, but is otherwise maintaining a pokerface).

"You've gotta be right over me, wow. I thought you were all nonchalant about sexual stuff Dave. What happened?" John teases with a bit of a grin as he leans forward to take Davesprite's wrist and pull him closer until he's floating just above his lap.

John makes a thoughtful sound before deciding that yes, moving Davesprite's long, weird tail into his lap as well is totally a good idea.

"Okay, where were we," John wastes no time in locating the slit again and pressing two fingers right back into it.

"Jesus Christ-" Davesprite reaches for John's shoulders again, his voice high and sounding close to cracking. 

Fascinated, John twists his fingers and strokes at Davesprite's inner walls until he has another good reaction. Which is another perfectly amusing caw.

"Dude, you keep doing that. Does it feel good or something? Or are you being weird and birdy."

Davesprite's swallow is audible even in John's ears. "It feels good." John hums his acknowledgement and continues to thrust his fingers into Davesprite's slit-vagina-who-knows-what-it-is thingy.

"O-oh, right there." Davesprite pulls himself closer to John by his shoulders, his tail pressing forward into John's fingers.

"Like this?" John curls his fingers a bit as he continues to press them in and out of Davesprite who is beginning to breathe heavily and keep digging his talons into John's shoulders.

"Fuck yes like that, just," John's pretty sure that Davesprite chirps or tweets or makes some other weird bird sound that kind of makes his cheeks flush and his mouth get dry. In hopes of keeping him making those sounds, John pushes in another finger on the next inward thrust of his fingers. Davesprite loses it.

"God, I don't know what you did but it feels so fucking good. Holy shit John, you're actually getting me off I could kiss you right now."

John laughs warily, his hand that had been holding Davesprite's hip tightening.

"But that would be so gay Dave." 

Davesprite's sudden burst of laughter causes his insides to squeeze around John's fingers.

" _That_ would be gay? Oh yeah, sorry, forgot that having your fingers four inches inside of my bird vagina wasn't gay." John promptly flushes further and stammers a bit. "Huhh move your fingers a little more. Yeah, yeah, like that." Davesprite begins to hunch over with his arms curling around the back of John's head. His entire hip-tail area begins to rock forward in ever increasing intervals that causes a weird slick sound making John flush even further.

"So um, how good does that feel? Should I add another finger?" Distantly, John realizes he is two fingers away from having his ENTIRE hand in Davesprite. Inside of his (not his) best friend giving him pleasure to get him off.

"God, can you?"

John swallows. "I think so." Just like earlier with the promise, John wiggles his pinky finger to join the rest of his inside of Davesprite's slit and woah he is really, really wet with something in there.

Davesprite's moan and full body jerk are the work of angels. Or maybe devils because John is feeling very warm very quickly and this is all new and weird.

"Man, if this feels so good with my bird hole thing, I wonder how good you would've been when I still had a dick." Davesprite's words are nearly a croon as they pass his lips.

"I don't know. Probably not good considering I have literally zero experience with anything." John concentrates on moving his hand rather than on Davesprite's panting and praise.

"I'll have to tell your Dave to fuck you or something to pay you back for this."

"I- no I'm fine it's cool you don't have to do that, ha ha let's not get Dave involved in this." The fingers on his shoulders move to his hair and John nearly loses it as Davesprite lets out a shrill caw.

"Maybe after this I'll give you a hand job or something. You know. To seal the broship thing we've got going on now." Davesprite stutters for a moment. Not two seconds later his wings are arching out to the point that John can hardly see anything but orange, orange, orange and feathers and nothing else.

"Fuck, I think I'm about to jizz. Shit, fuck, yes, yes, yes, yes, oh god, John, John, fu-cking christ," Davesprite's words trail off into a burble as his hips jerk forwards. Then suddenly there's orange fluid everywhere and John's really surprised with his fingers still pressed deep into Davesprite's slit.

"I...um...was that it? Did you get off?" Davesprite shudders, his arms still wrapped around John's shoulders and head, his stomach nearly touching John's nose.

"Yeah, I uh. Yeah I think so." Davesprite lets out a small sound when John finally slides his fingers out of him and makes a face.

"You got bird jizz everywhere."

"You should taste it."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"You told me to taste it."

"No I didn't. But I mean, if you want to go right ahead. It is everywhere." John gives Davesprite a look.

"Maybe I do want to."

"Then do it."

"Do you want me to?"

"I don't care."

"I won't do it unless you really, really want me to." 

Davesprite pulls back a bit, his gaze leveling with John's before taking in the mess that's on John's front and lap.

"Do it."

"Do what."

"Taste my bird jizz."

"Okay." It's as simple as that and John licks his four left fingers with extreme caution incase the bird jizz would melt his tongue off or something. Davesprite gives him an expectant look with bright orange eyes.

"So."

"It's just kind of wet. I mean it's not bad but it's not like wonderful."

Davesprite's eyes shift for a moment. "Would you do something for me."

"Sure. What?" They were already past the awkward stage of things he could ask for anyway. 

John sits still as Davesprite tangles his fingers into his hair and moves forward again, only this time moving so where his slit is located is level with John's face.

"I want you to lick it."

John's nose flares open for half a second. "Why?" Davesprite shrugs.

"I don't know. Easy clean up?"

"Just no kissing."

"Right, because that'd be gay." Davesprite gives a fully amused grin down at John before tilting his hips forward to get John's attention.

"Okay I guess." John shrugs as he leans forward to lick at where he thinks the slit is. Davesprite shudders again, his fingers tight in John's hair against his scalp. After a moment, John decides to use his fingers to find the slit before moving the run his tongue along it, even going so far as to lick into it.

When he feels he's done what Davesprite wanted he pulls back and looks up. Davesprite pets his hair for a second.

"Thanks."

"Yeah."

"Wanna cuddle or something?"

"Sure. Let me take these off first though." John detangles himself from Davesprite's tail so he can shift out of his pants. Once free of the wet clothing, he allows his body to float upwards and join Davesprite in the air.

They find a position facing each other with Davesprite's tail curled lazily around John works best and stay like that.

"I'll pay you back for that." Davesprite rests his forehead against John's with a tired sigh.

"Promise?" John yawns.

"Pinky promise." Davesprite offers up his pinky to which John gives it a look before curling his own around it.

"Pinky promise." They end up passing out like that with their pinkies and bodies hooked together. And for a little while at least, things were okay and it was like having their best friend back finally.


End file.
